“Experiencing the death of someone close, like a parent or sibling is
life’s biggest challenge. I know; it happened to me.”
Shelley, Founder and CEO of Grief Encounter
Does this sound familiar?
Time’s a great healer
Are you better now?
Pull yourself together
Don’t be sad all the time
Life will get back to normal soon
Go back to school and get on with it
Let’s go out clubbing and have fun
Nothing is the same after the death of a parent, brother or sister. At first, it may feel like a storm; you may feel sad, or want to hide away or feel nothing at all – these mixed emotions are normal and all part of your grieving process. Young people are often expected to move on quickly, and behave as though nothing has changed. Friends move on with their lives, when yours has turned upside down. People don’t know if you want to be left alone or given attention.
It’s time to take control of how you’re feeling. Have a look at our bereavement support Teen Guide which is full of quotes and advice from bereaved young people which will help you feel less isolated, and know that there is hope to move through all this. Find out more and become part of the Grief Encounter community by using some of our Remember ideas, meeting with us or calling for some 1:1 support.
Our Top 10 Playlist for Good Grief Days
- Someone Like You - Adele
- See You Again – Wiz Kalifa
- Jealous – Labyrinth
- You’re Gonna Miss Me – Lulu and The Lampshades
- Angel – Sarah McLachlan
- Tears In Heaven – Eric Clapton
- Fix You – Coldplay
- Scars – James Bay
- Wings – Birdy
- Feel – Robbie Williams
Top 10 Books
- A Monster Calls - Patrick Ness
- Sad Book - Michael Rosen
- Two Weeks with the Queen - Morris Gleitzman
- The Red Tree - Shaun Tan
- I had a Black Dog - Matthew Johnstone
- The Great Blue Yonder - Alex Shearer
- The Blackwater Lightship - Colm Toibin
- The Fault in Our Stars - John Green
- Lucas- Kevin Brooks
- The Lost Boy’s Appreciation Society - Alan Gibbons
- And of course the Grief Encounter Workbook-Dr Shelley Gilbert, MBE
(Ok, that's 11!)
Top 10 Tips from a Bereaved Young Person
- Write down your feelings or thoughts on paper, then screw it up and throw it away
- Keep a diary where you can write down anything that comes to you – thoughts, poems and lyrics
- Talk to people who understand how you feel, and to those who knew the person you have lost
- Put things or feelings away safely sometimes, so you can take them out another time
- It’s ok to feel sad, angry, scared or to cry. It’s also ok to feel happy and enjoy things
- Visiting the grave may make you feel closer to the person you have lost
- Talk to the person you have lost, either out loud or in your head
- Its ok not to think about death and loss all of the time, specifically the person you have lost
- Think about happy and special times with that person, and feel glad to have had them in your life
- Ask for a cuddle
- Take a deep breath
(Ok – so that was 11!)
Talk to Someone
Don't keep your feelings bottled up inside, share them with trusted adults or friends. Not all pain can be seen, and it’s hard for those around you to understand how you feel. They want to help, so communicate.
Grief Encounter team members can add to your list of trusted adults, who can offer you a wealth of support and guidance. Call our helpline (with an adult) on 020 8371 8455 or drop us an email on email@example.com. If you want to meet other bereaved children who will understand exactly what you are going through, we can put you in touch via our fun days and workshops. Don't suffer in silence, and don’t cry alone.
E-counselling is a new service being offered by Grief Encounter so that bereaved young people aged fourteen or over, who aren’t situated within our local area, can receive support when they need it most.
We initially offer 6 counselling support sessions w with an experienced counsellor at a mutually convenient time conducted via webcam through Skype. This will allow the counsellor to see you whilst listening, talking and helping you make sense of your loss. It becomes a more personal experience, allowing you to make a connection with your counsellor so you feel safe, comfortable and most importantly - heard.
In order to arrange your sessions, you will need internet access, a webcam and a microphone (schools are often willing to provide these if you do not have access at home).
If you are interested in this type of support, please email firstname.lastname@example.org for an initial form to fill in. A Grief Encounter team member will respond to you to set up an initial assessment. The initial assessment will be to get to know you better and determine if e-counselling is a good match for you.
Please note, as much as we would like this service to be open to anyone, at the moment, it is for people who have experienced loss and are over the age of fourteen, or the adult caring for the children.
This is an entirely free service for young people. Adults using the service are invited to make a donation in the region of £30 per session, by credit card or PayPal. (No-one will be turned away for an inability to pay)